Source – lifehack.org
- “…They’ll take any remark, comment or opinion the wrong way, believing that whoever gave it is trying to insult, belittle or put them down. They believe that humiliation is at the forefront of most people’s intentions of which will make a highly miserable person distrustful, resentful and always on the defense”
15 Habits of Highly Miserable People
By Paula Lawes
Paula loves people and connecting. She writes about communication and relationships tips on Lifehack. Read full profile
The definition of a miserable person is wretchedly unhappy or uncomfortable. That is pretty spot on, don’t you think?
When a person is miserable, they never see or expect the good in anything and always try to make those around them feel just as bad and negative as them. Being miserable is a way of life for some people because they get sympathy, constant reassurance from other miserable people and a sense of self, defined by whatever circumstance they find themselves in.
If you are tired of being miserable and want a happy existence , I’ve come up with a few habits of highly miserable people that you can avoid. If you can identify and change one around, you’ll be well on your way to a good life again!
1. They’re never thankful for anything.
Being grateful and thankful for anything in a highly miserable person’s life is a big no!
When a person shows gratitude, they should do it from a point of view of happiness and are usually ten times more likely to be thankful for things they already have rather than the things they don’t.
A miserable person avoids any expressions of gratitude at all costs because it goes against what they believe. They think that counting their blessings is a waste of time and life will always be full of something to be ungrateful about.
2. They lead a very unadventurous life.
Highly miserable people lead a dull, boring and unadventurous life. They ensure to have a mundane existence, with no fun, no possibility or excitement and then complain about it!
When life is unadventurous and boring, they’ll start to believe that they are boring and project that upon other people.
Life is predictable as far as a highly miserable person is concerned. TV is a big activity in this kind of life coupled with addiction and other mediocre activities such as reading tabloid papers and celebrity magazines, none of which stimulate or invigorate the body or mind.
3. They live in and glorify the past.
We’ve all done it, said things like ‘it was so much better when I was a kid’ except highly miserable people tend to live their lives stuck in the past rather than remembering it fondly and moving on.
They’ll talk about what has happened, what they have done and what it was like back then, saying that life has only gone downhill since.
When a highly miserable people vilify the past, they refer to it as being born in the wrong place at the wrong time, or life when they were a kid was unhappy and they never got what they wanted.
4. They do things for personal gain.
“All the happiness in the world stems from wanting others to be happy, and all the suffering in the world stems from wanting the self to be happy.” – Shantideva
Being self-centered and only doing things for personal gain is an extreme habit of a highly miserable person.
Life is about having and gaining more and getting it no matter how they get it, even at the expense of others. They’ll surround themselves with like-minded people and even take on ‘professions’ that involve criminal activities. They’ll have no qualm about taking from others or acting as if they are doing good whereas their intentions are not so.
5. They are afraid of economic loss.
Fear is a good habit to have if you want to be a highly miserable person.
Fear keep miserable people from doing a job they absolutely hate; it makes them work long unbearable hours working for a company that doesn’t care about its employees.
They are greedy and stingy with money, generosity isn’t even in their vocabulary; and if it is, there is personal gain involved.
They’ll become ill because of their money worries, probably depressed and lose friends/family as a result. If they could, they’d sit and worry all day long, thinking about what they could lose if they took a risk, left their job or tried something different.
6. They love to pick fights.
Every now and again, a highly miserable person often picks a fight out of the blue with someone close to them. They usually pick a fight about something absurd and completely unrelated to their current situation.
Secondly, they expect that person to respond with kindness and sympathy and if they don’t, they’ll be quick to point it out. If however the other party mentions it again, they’ll be sure to make it seem as if they don’t know what they are talking about and that they never intended for the situation to occur. They’ll quickly act to be hurt and be the victim, even though they started the fight.
7. They blame others and play the victim.
Highly miserable people are brilliant at blaming their parents, because, after all, they were the ones who brought them to this world and shaped who they were.
Typically, they’ll also blame the bully who bullied them as a kid, a teacher who didn’t like them or a friend who never wanted to do what they wanted to do.
They simply can’t let go of the idea of playing the blame game.
8. They think people’s intentions towards them are always dishonorable.
They’ll take any remark, comment or opinion the wrong way, believing that whoever gave it is trying to insult, belittle or put them down. They believe that humiliation is at the forefront of most people’s intentions of which will make a highly miserable person distrustful, resentful and always on the defense.
Miserable people expect the very worst from people and can’t imagine a person acting on good intentions.
9. They give themselves a negative identity and revel in it.
Highly miserable people let their perceived emotional problem absorbs their very core.
For example, if they suffered from anxiety, depression, grief of some sort, they’d define them as a person. They also try to make everyone know exactly what’s wrong with them. They make this the focus of their life, talking about it constantly, and bringing it up at every opportunity.
10. They get involved in others’ drama.
They are the center point of all the drama in their lives and others’. This includes family and community dramas.
They want to be the person that people will turn to, to share their miserableness with and to help carry the drama to new levels; exaggerating situations and consoling others with their own sorry stories about how life has dealt them a cruel hand.
11. They always expect the worst.
Life sucks and all the bad stuff happens to them, is the mantra of a miserable person.
Optimism for the future is nonsense and being positive will only be done in vain. To them, their marriage probably won’t work out, their children won’t love them, their house will fall apart and their job is an unbearable chore.
12. They focus only on themselves.
Highly miserable people focus on themselves, their needs and their problems, as they believe that nobody else’s issues or struggles are as bad as theirs.
They worry all the time about why they do things, why they behave in certain ways, while analyzing their flaws and chewing over their problems.
13. They are critical of everything.
Nothing is good enough, nothing works and nothing makes a highly miserable person happy. They are critical of everything whether people agree with them or not.
Miserable people always voice their opinion before everyone else. They criticize something that someone loves just to make sure their point is heard. They love to antagonize and believe they are always right while everyone else is always wrong.
14. They worry too much.
Worry makes people miserable. Miserable people won’t listen to reasons and are obsessed with situations and things they have no control over.
Worrying feeds into their misery so it’s only natural that these types of people are worrisome by nature.
15. They are envious of other people’s success.
Miserable people won’t outright say they are envious of other people’s successes. What they will do however, is to put down other people’s achievements and successes by pointing out the negatives or downplaying the news so the other person’s excitement is immediately deflated.
When someone is happy, a highly miserable person will point out all that could possibly go wrong in great detail.
If you feel as though you have some or all the traits of a miserable person, now is the time to change so you can be a happier, cheerful and more successful person.